This isn’t a goal update, but moreso a thought-driven one. As you may have noticed…I’m very goal oriented, I always have been. I’m ambitious and I always want to do more, but recognize my own personal needs and limits. Like scaffolding, we work up to bigger things over time and eventually goals we worked on become foundations. My goals now look very different from what they were 4, 5 or more years ago. A high school version of me imagined being a teache, having fun and finally working up to where I lived more to my potential. I’m pretty sure a young version of me would be proud 🙂 Two years out of college, an amazing job, a big group of friends, lots of involvement, good personal growth/development, faith, skills, good health and my own humble abode. I’m happy for myself 🙂
As we get older, we also begin to put ourselves in the shoes of others more. We realize that others are just as complex and compelling as ourselves. We understand individualism and hopefully get to the point where we appreciate it. For example, I cannot stand country music and couldn’t fathom liking it. But, many people do and that’s awesome. We see traits we in others we wish we had and see our own. We realize we are blessed and know it (true self love comes in here!) However, there is a growing disease in our 20s that, while present in every sphere, has a special signifigance in our 20s thanks to living in the 21st century-Obsessive Comparison Disorder.
A few months ago I had a facebook. I deleted it for more than one reason, but my primary reason was because I found myself comapring myself to others. It threw me off my personal peace. Friends were posting how many days until their wedding, chatting to as many people as possible (if only to give the image of having that many friends), complaining, how amazing their SO was, being fake, bragging etc. Their exaggerated or even false reality made me feel ill about mine. I didn’t feel the need to compare myself to a few hundred friends anymore. Getting rid of it was a breath of air after being in an ocean.
In elementary school, our parents begin the compare/contrast stage. In adulthood, we want to do more and be the ‘best’. If we’re married, we compare spouses. Children-based on my friends ventings, that is the messiest world in terms of comparing. Jobs? Money, power, esteem. Life is full of comparison and the 20s and media just boost it further. Its toxic and the key is finding your balance where you feel you and not the need to compare yourself because, there’s no right answer!!! What you want, may be the opposite of what someone else may want. Comparing your life to a polar opposite is just illogical. Be happy and don’t comapre yourself, because true happiness comes from within.
…But by golly, that is a hard lesson to master.